More than half of people age 40 and older have not discussed aging with their parents, and 84% have nothing saved for their parents’ future should they need it, according to a study conducted by Mavencare, a home care provider. Why is this statistic important? Because nearly six in 10 respondents said they’re worried about their parents aging and another 58% said the cost of care, in terms of a caregiver, is a major concern.
Saving for parents old age is extremely challenging since most people have enough trouble handling their own retirement savings and healthcare concerns plus requirements from their children. One might ask, “How many generations can we support?”
Healthcare in retirement is a major expense, and it only gets more expensive as a person ages. A 65-year-old couple retiring in 2019 can expect to spend $285,000, out of pocket, for health care in retirement, according to Fidelity Investments, but that figure does not include long-term care, such as having an in-home aide or going to a skilled nursing facility.
Having to pay for both one’s current expenses as well as a loved one’s medical expenses can be stressful, but many Americans in past surveys say they would do that, as well as provide physical care, no matter what. A strong majority — 92% — of people in a Merrill Lynch and Age Wave report of 2,000 people said they financially assist their parents, such as paying the bills and handling insurance claims.
Many American adults today are in the middle of two generations that may rely on them. Someone in their 40s or 50s could still be assisting children through college or the first few years of adulthood, while simultaneously caring for elderly parents, financially, emotionally or physically, if they live nearby. Generation X is currently the generation caught in the middle — known as the “sandwich” generation — but they also need to focus on their own retirements, or they risk having too little stashed away for their own futures.
So how does this “sandwiched” generation cope with the risks of having to provide support for aging parents? One way is to start the dialogue now. Family members should be open about their expectations for care and financial assistance in old age. Increasingly, the success of one’s financial plan is dependent on family members being financially prepared as well.
There is no universal solution for any one person’s care in old age, nor how families may pay for or arrange that care. It is about starting the conversation early. Some of these things take time, and you need to be informed about solutions and really understand what is important for the family and loved ones. Being proactive is better than reactive; a medical event or emergency shouldn’t be the time to start these conversations.
Family members may also want to meet with an elder care attorney, who can review current assets as well as strategies to maintain that money or use it appropriately for future healthcare costs. If parents do have money to spend in retirement, Medicaid could disqualify them or the program could drain all they have. This is the chicken and egg conundrum - protect the assets now (think shifting assets to an irrevocable trust), get parents Medicaid-eligible, let their health be covered — or consider going out of pocket for the biggest expense parents (and you) will ever have. Alternatively, some people have purchased long-term care insurance policies for their parents or in-laws.
Some people may want to mix informal care, such as from a family, with a professional, or they may review housing opportunities and plan to downsize over time. Family members and other loved ones should discuss living arrangements — especially if nobody is close by — as well as analyze the finances, listen to the parent’s wishes for long-term care and strategize medical events, day-to-day care and insurance claims. In doing so, families will have a much greater success of coming up with the solution that best meets everyone’s needs.